My wife and I were not on good terms with my mother-in-law and her husband over the past few months but we had them over for dinner yesterday and it went well. I don’t know if the circumstances really matters to why we weren’t talking but the core reason is because they lied to us multiple times. A healthy relationship needs honesty and trust, we had lost that. At the same time we felt like there was no respect either.
Last time we really talked was when we were house hunting and the whole time they belittle us. Treated us like children who didn’t know what we’re doing. When we told them we had put in an offer the response was, “you know you can’t just tell them you want it, you have to fill out paperwork and stuff.” I don’t do well with being treated like a child and it was hard for me to hold my tongue. When our first offer was rejected they questioned if we had done it right. When our offer was accepted it was like we had just gotten lucky and no work was involved on our end. Never the less, I want my kids to have their grandparents though, so we forgave them.
Forgives is not easy but I think it is healthy. It shows a level of maturity. The hardest part is they refuse to admit any fault or lying. So really what we have had to do is leave up some walls in the relationship, we can forgive but not forget. I am no longer mad at them but I still do not trust them and I think it will work out ok though. The visit yesterday went really well as we showed them our new house in a new town and talked about the baby we are expecting. I felt as if they realized we are adults.
My daughters we ecstatic to see them. We saw them through the window when they pulled up and my daughters ran to the door. The went out side to bounce up and down on the deck as they yell, “Grandma! Grandpa!” Seeing them so happy made it much easier to forgive. At the end of the day they are family.